Mr. Laughs Prep 11/20/2025
Mr. Laughs Prep
THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 20, 2025
- FEATURED BIT: "ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS THE EPSTEIN FILES" (Parody Song) (0:58)
Will the Epstein files ever actually see the light of day? Or will the government somehow figure out a way to keep it all hidden. Maybe we'll see it by Christmas. For some Americans, that would make the best gift as you'll hear in this parody of "All I Want For Christmas (Is My Two Front Teeth)."
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DAILY HOLIDAYS
- Africa Industrialization Day
- Beautiful Day
- Future Teachers of America Day
- Geographic Information Systems Day
- Globally Organized Hug a Runner Day
- Name Your PC Day
- National Absurdity Day
- National Educational Support Professionals Day
- National Peanut Butter Fudge Day
- National Zinfandel Day
- Transgender Day of Remembrance
- World Children’s Day
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ONE-LINERS
== TOP O THE NEWS ==
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NASA scientists found a strange rock on Mars called “Phippsaksla” that they think may not have come from the planet at all. I mean, sounds like the rock already told you it’s name. Why not just ask where it’s from?
Sounds like it’s not supposed to be up there. Ya know what else isn’t supposed to be up there? Us!
(https://tinyurl.com/yf227uw6)
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A solid gold working toilet titled America, created by Italian artist Maurizio Cattelan, sold for $12.1 million at a Sotheby’s auction in New York. Why don’t you tell us how you really feel, Maurizio?
That means that at some point, somewhere, a very rich person will turn to another very rich person and say “Call the plumber. America’s clogged again.”
(https://tinyurl.com/f239vebj)
== POLLS, STUDIES, AND SURVEYS ==
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A recent survey shows that many Americans now need a “game plan” to make it through holiday dinners, with 47% saying they’d prefer to sit at the kids table to avoid uncomfortable conversations. What’s not to love about the kids table? Chicken fingers, mac n’ cheese, discussing Stranger Things… It’s fun!
Here's something you’ll never get asked at the kids table: “Who did you vote for?”
(https://tinyurl.com/43df5vff)
== AROUND THE NATION ==
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Ted Cruz has quietly become the most popular political podcaster in the country, pulling in up to two million monthly downloads. Podcasts used to be mostly comedians telling jokes. Now it’s politicians who are a joke.
The name of the podcast is Verdict with Ted Cruz. It’s not called Cruz Control. Even though it should be.
(https://tinyurl.com/428r9hvf)
== AROUND THE GLOBE ==
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A ferry ran aground on a remote South Korean island, with footage showing its bow stuck on a tree-covered slope as passengers waited in life vests for rescue. Did they exchange insurance information with the trees? How do you rear end an entire island?
If I was the captain I would’ve played it off. “Nope, this is it, we’re here. Everybody off my boat!”
(https://tinyurl.com/3uktkdnn)
== SHOW BIZ BUZZ ==
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Jeremy Allen White says he actually goes by just Jeremy White among friends and family, and fans are welcome to use it too. I’m gonna play it safe and keep calling him “Chef”. You know, as a sign of respect.
I figured he’d want to be called Bruce for a few more months, at least until the movie hits streaming.
Either one is better than “Oh! It’s that guy from that thing!”
(https://tinyurl.com/bd9ss6s7)
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Keith Urban caused a stir after performing at a private Mar-a-Lago event where he sang Chappell Roan’s “Pink Pony Club”, an LGBTQ anthem. He only played it because he didn’t know the words to “YMCA”.
Sounds like the Pink Pony Club should up their club dues.
(https://tinyurl.com/y9n2c6d8)
== CELEBRITY DRIVEL ==
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Elsie Hewitt, who is expecting a baby with Pete Davidson, said she knew on their first date he would be the father of her children. Being a typical guy, the only thing Pete knew was that he was going to order the chicken parm.
Wow, she’s a model AND she can tell the future. Pete really scored the whole package.
(https://tinyurl.com/584nhep3)
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Daniel Radcliffe said he wrote a warm letter to 11-year-old Dominic McLaughlin, the new actor set to play Harry Potter for the upcoming HBO series. Radcliffe says he shared this piece of advice – “Don’t get between Hagrid and craft services.”
Aw, such Hufflepuff behavior.
(https://tinyurl.com/2a5ff65d)
== SPORTS SPURTS ==
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Pope Leo XIV has been invited to throw out the opening pitch for the Chicago White Sox when their new stadium is finished being built. It’s too bad they don’t want him to hit. I heard he got a batting cage installed at the Vatican. Word on the street is the big man hits dingers!
The pope says he’ll throw the pitch for free, but he’ll bless the stadium if they throw in a deep dish.
(https://tinyurl.com/yrp78phe)
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GENIUS AWARDS
AND TODAY’S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO……
CLEARWATER, FL - Angel Lynn Curl, 47, was arrested for domestic battery after allegedly punching her boyfriend when a planned sexual encounter fell through Saturday evening in Clearwater.
Police report Curl and her 47-year-old boyfriend had invited a female friend to their apartment "to engage in sexual activity." However, investigators say "all parties declined participating in sexual activity," though the arrest affidavit does not explain why the plan was abandoned.
Following the cancellation, Curl allegedly "became angry" and repeatedly struck her boyfriend in the face while he sat on their living room couch. The female guest witnessed Curl hit the victim "in the face with a closed fist" multiple times, according to police.
Curl denied the assault after being read her rights. She was arrested around 1:15 AM Sunday and released later that day. A judge ordered Curl to avoid contact with the victim.
Sounds like she suffered some profound disappointment.
Hell hath no fury like a Florida woman named "Angel."
https://tinyurl.com/4ra77c92
AND THEN THERE’S……
OAKLAND COUNTY, Mich. — A 21-year-old has been charged after allegedly purchasing pizzas from restaurants with fake $100 bills, receiving change and not returning to pick up his order.
Javon Lavell Smith of Inkster is facing two felony counts after police say he used the "phony" bills at establishments in Milford and Highland Township.
The Oakland County Sheriff's Office says Smith ordered pizzas from the restaurants on Oct. 7, paying with fake $100 dollar bills and receiving change for his order.
Police say that the suspect did not return to pick up either order he placed.
Smith was arrested earlier this week, and is facing charges of uttering and publishing counterfeit bills or notes.
This is why pizza should be free.
When they say "shoot your shot," it means this.
https://tinyurl.com/3eumfsyt
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BENCHMARK GAMES
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THOUGHT OF THE DAY
Don’t forget to set your scales back ten pounds before Thanksgiving.
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ON THIS DAY
NOV 20, 284
Roman soldier Diocletian is proclaimed Emperor by the army
NOV 20, 1755
English minister William Pitt the Elder resigns
NOV 20, 1789
New Jersey is the first state to ratify the Bill of Rights
NOV 20, 1805
Ludwig van Beethoven's “Fidelio,” his only opera, premieres in Vienna
NOV 20, 1815
The Second Treaty of Paris: France & her allies agree that France will pay indemnities after the Battle of Waterloo, ending the Napoleonic Wars
NOV 20, 1862
Under General Braxton Bragg, the Confederate armies of Mississippi and Kentucky merge as the Army of Tennessee
NOV 20, 1906
Playwright George Bernard Shaw's “Doctor's Dilemma” premieres in London
NOV 20, 1911
The funeral of Paul and Laura Lafargue (daughter of Karl Marx) in Paris is attended by Lenin; the two socialists died in a suicide pact in the belief that their political usefulness was at an end
NOV 20, 1917
Ukrainian Republic is declared
NOV 20, 1929
Painter Salvador Dali's first one-man show
NOV 20, 1947
The first permanent TV is installed on a seagoing vessel (New Jersey)
NOV 20, 1949
The Jewish population of Israel reaches 1,000,000
NOV 20, 1952
Slánský trials begin - a series of Stalinist and anti-Semitic show trials in Czechoslovakia
NOV 20, 1959
The UN adopts Universal Declaration of Children's Rights
NOV 20, 1962
Mickey Mantle wins the American League MVP award for the third time
NOV 20, 1969
Brazilian soccer icon Pele scores his 1,000th goal
NOV 20, 1975
Ronald Reagan announces his candidacy for Republican nomination for U.S. President
NOV 20, 1976
George Harrison appears on “Saturday Night Live”
NOV 20, 1977
Egyptian President Anwar Sadat becomes the first Arab leader to address Israeli Knesset
NOV 20, 1977
NFL running back Walter Payton (Bears) rushes for an NFL record 275 yards
NOV 20, 1979
U.S.'s first artificial blood transfusion occurs at the University of Minnesota Hospital
NOV 20, 1981
Ringo Starr releases “Stop & Smell Roses” album
NOV 20, 1982
Drew Barrymore, at age seven, hosts “Saturday Night Live”
NOV 20, 1983
“Terms of Endearment,” from the book by Larry McMurtry, directed by James L. Brooks and starring Shirley MacLaine and Debra Winger, premieres in New York (Best Picture 1984)
NOV 20, 1985
Microsoft Windows 1.0 is released
NOV 20, 1990
British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher fails to defeat Michael Heseltine's bid for leadership of the Conservative Party
NOV 20, 1993
Winnie Mandela's driver and bodyguard is murdered in Johannesburg
NOV 20, 1995
Princess Diana admits she cheated on Prince Charles in a TV interview
NOV 20, 1998
Court in Taliban-controlled Afghanistan declares accused terrorist Osama bin Laden “a man without a sin” in regard to the 1998 U.S. embassy bombings in Kenya and Tanzania
NOV 20, 2001
U.S. President George W. Bush dedicates the U.S. Department of Justice headquarters the Robert F. Kennedy Justice Building, on what would have been his 76th birthday
NOV 20, 2013
Journalist Ben Bradlee is presented with the Presidential Medal of Freedom by President Barack Obama at a White House ceremony
NOV 20, 2017
German Chancellor Angela Merkel announces that coalition talks to form a government have collapsed
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BIRTHDAYS
NOVEMBER 20
Jared Followill, Kings of Leon rocker (40)
Future, rapper (42)
Josh Turner, country singer (48)
Dierks Bentley, country singer (50)
Joel McHale, actor (54)
Boris Becker, tennis great (58)
Mike D, Beastie Boy (60)
Sean Young, Blade Runner actress (66)
Bo Derek, actress (69)
Joe Walsh, musician (78)
Joe Biden, former POTUS (83)
Dick Smothers, comedian/musician (87)
NOVEMBER 21
Carly Rae Jepsen, singer (40)
Jena Malone, actress (41)
Nikki and Brie Bella, wrestlers/reality stars (42)
Michael Strahan, TV host (54)
Ken Griffey Jr., MLB star (56)
Troy Aikman, NFL star (59)
Bjork, singer (60)
Nicollette Sheridan, actress (62)
Goldie Hawn, actress (80)
Marlo Thomas, That Girl actress (88)