Mr. Laughs Prep 4/03/2026
Mr. Laughs Prep
FRIDAY, APRIL 3, 2026
- FEATURED BIT: "EGGS" (Original Bit) (1:37)
In honor of holiday weekend, pay tribute to the Easter Bunny who'll be busy hiding eggs and delivering baskets full of treats.
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DAILY HOLIDAYS
- American Circus Day
- Armenian Appreciation Day
- Find a Rainbow Day
- Fish Fingers and Custard Day
- Good Friday
- Good People Day
- National Chocolate Mousse Day
- National Don’t Go to Work Unless It’s Fun Day
- National Film Score Day
- Pony Express Day
- Tweed Day
- Weed Out Hate: Sow the Seeds of Greatness Day
- World Party Day
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ONE-LINERS
== TOP O THE NEWS ==
#
NASA’s Artemis II mission launched smoothly but hit an awkward snag in orbit when a toilet malfunction made it unusable for “number one” during the lunar flyby trip. That gives me anxiety. I don’t even like holding it on a long car ride.
Uh oh. I don’t think there’s a lot of rest stops on the way to the moon.
(https://tinyurl.com/ye28sxf8)
#
Donald Trump blasted Bruce Springsteen as a “total loser” and urged fans to skip his concerts after the rocker criticized his policies onstage. Trump is so upset he’s actually threatened to kick New Jersey out of the country.
I don’t know why Bruce doesn’t like the president. Trump’s giving him a bunch of new, crazy things to write songs about.
(https://tinyurl.com/55ddsubw)
#
A lawyer in Syracuse has sued the city’s airport over a rejected sexual harassment ad and ended up with a much larger version now covering two full walls. I have a feeling she’s going to get a hard time from TSA from here on out though.
Some lawyers are happy having an ad on a park bench. This lady went and took an entire airport hallway.
== POLLS, STUDIES, AND SURVEYS ==
#
A new study warns climate change could push venomous snakes toward densely populated coastlines, raising the risk of deadly human encounters. If it’s not the sea level rising, it’s deadly snakes. Time to move to Ohio.
Before this, deadly venomous snakes only ever went to the coastline for brief vacations.
(https://tinyurl.com/769wnh6n)
== AROUND THE NATION ==
#
A Massachusetts man was arrested after allegedly threatening Donald Trump online and brandishing a sword during a standoff with federal agents. I bet the Game of Thrones theme was playing in his head when he pulled out that sword.
They should give him a matching punishment. Put him in stocks in the town square.
(https://tinyurl.com/452ubf2x)
== AROUND THE GLOBE ==
#
A 194 year old tortoise believed to have died is still alive, after a fake social media post claiming to be from his vet sparked a viral hoax that fooled major news outlets. He’s so old he could actually be THE tortoise from the Tortoise and the Hare.
He actually died 40 years ago, but the caretaker’s been cashing his social security checks the whole time.
(https://tinyurl.com/2wt3xfhs)
== SHOW BIZ BUZZ ==
#
A divorce battle between news anchors Josh Elliott and Liz Cho is spotlighting a bizarre fight over grapes that escalated into a heated household dispute. They were green grapes, but now, they’ve become the grapes of wrath.
I can’t imagine getting into such a big fight over grapes. Over ice cream, maybe. But grapes?
(https://tinyurl.com/yv7wfekb)
== CELEBRITY DRIVEL ==
#
Bob Dylan has launched a $5 a month Patreon featuring ghostly letters, never-sent notes, and original short stories, leaving fans intrigued and confused. Die hard Bob fans said they haven’t felt this confused since he went electric in ’65.
(https://tinyurl.com/5caap7td)
#
Brian Littrell of the Backstreet Boys was reportedly caught on video shouting a homophobic slur during a heated argument with a man on a Florida beach. I’m not saying he should get a pass, but he did spend his 20’s shirtless dancing with four other guys.
Between this and the Justin Timberlake DUI, it’s a tough time for boy bands.
(https://tinyurl.com/mr33mwpz)
== SPORTS SPURTS ==
#
Memphis Grizzlies forward Brandon Clarke was arrested in Arkansas on charges that include speeding and possession of a controlled substance. This is different, usually he’s getting charged with staying in the paint too long.
I guess the arresting officer wasn’t a basketball fan.
(https://tinyurl.com/37me56zp)
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GENIUS AWARDS
AND TODAY’S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO……
A California man received the maximum sentence of six years and eight months in state prison for breaking into a woman's home and assaulting her while she slept.
Cristian Solorio, 28, of Modesto was convicted of stalking and breaking into a residence with intent to commit a sex act. The Stanislaus County District Attorney's Office said Solorio became obsessed with the victim after seeing her at work in February 2023. He repeatedly visited her workplace and asked her out multiple times, sending letters requesting to take her to Mexico.
On May 21, 2023, Solorio broke into the victim's home after her father left and entered her bedroom where he "sucked on her toes" while she slept. The terrified victim managed to remain calm and talk to Solorio until family members intervened.
Solorio admitted to breaking in to contact the victim and faces separate federal drug trafficking charges.
We've placed too much focus on women's feet as a society. I blame Tarantino!
Fellas, here's a massive "what not to do." If you're breaking into her father's house... you might be a stalker.
https://tinyurl.com/nhcnxjcc
AND THEN THERE’S……
An Ohio inmate named Kenneth Newton, 27, surprised Judge R. Scott Krichbaum this week by requesting 18 months instead of the 12-month sentence outlined in his plea agreement.
"I've gotta tell you, I've never heard that before," Krichbaum said. "I've never had anybody ask for more time. This isn't like an April Fools' joke or anything like that?"
Newton explained he wanted additional time to participate in vocational and counseling programs. Judge Krichbaum approved the request.
Newton had pleaded guilty to two fourth-degree felony assault charges and misdemeanor aggravated menacing related to a February 6th incident where prosecutors say he bit two deputies during a jail escort.
The sentence will run consecutively with a separate two-to-three-year term Newton received earlier this year for felonious assault.
"Your Honor, in this economy... "
Considering the job market and inflation, we're surprised more inmates aren't requesting this!
https://tinyurl.com/56mccw2d
OR HOW ABOUT……
BOWLING GREEN, KY - Kentucky authorities arrested Jorge Hernandez, 48, for operating a non-motor vehicle under the influence after spotting him riding a horse through a Bowling Green residential area Thursday evening.
Police observed Hernandez around 6 PM appearing "partially slumped over" while mounted on the brown horse. When he began riding on the sidewalk, officers conducted a traffic stop. Hernandez displayed bloodshot eyes, slurred speech, and smelled of alcohol, according to the arrest report.
He told police he had just left a liquor store and was heading home. A liquor store bag was tied to the horse's saddle.
Following field sobriety tests, Hernandez was booked into county jail then released to federal agents on an immigration warrant.
The arrest paperwork lists his "vehicle" as a 2024 brown "other."
The horse's custody post-arrest remains unclear.
We're gonna guess this worked for him many times in the past.
Is the horse a "vehicle" or an enabler?
https://tinyurl.com/4vz2ydhf
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BENCHMARK GAMES
== PORN STAR OR WEATHERMAN ==
I’m going to read you a list of showbiz personalities and I want you to tell me if the
person is a PORN STAR or a WEATHERMAN.
Xander Corvus ….. PORN STAR
Sophie Anderson ….. PORN STAR
Robin Reed ….. WEATHERMAN at WDBJ in Roanoke, Virginia
Wes Hohenstein ….. WEATHERMAN at WNCN in Raleigh, North Carolina
Katrina Voss ….. WEATHERWOMAN at The Weather Channel Latin America
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THOUGHT OF THE DAY
Any stairway is a stairway to heaven if you’re clumsy enough.
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ON THIS DAY
APR 3, 1776
George Washington receives an honorary degree from Harvard College
APR 3, 1882
American outlaw Jesse James is killed by Robert Ford at his home in St. Joseph
APR 3, 1917
Marxist Revolutionary and Soviet Leader Vladimir Lenin arrives in Petrograd from Switzerland
APR 3, 1917
Alfred Stieglitz opens the first one-person show of Georgia O'Keeffee's work at 291 art gallery in New York
APR 3, 1922
Joseph Stalin is appointed General Secretary of the Russian Communist Party by Vladimir Lenin
APR 3, 1926
The second flight of a liquid-fueled rocket by Robert Goddard
APR 3, 1948
U.S. President Harry Truman signs The Marshall Plan ($5B in aid to sixteen European countries)
APR 3, 1953
The American magazine “TV Guide” publishes its first issue, features on the cover the newborn baby of actors Desi Arnaz and Lucille Ball, Desi Arnaz Jr.
APR 3, 1955
The American Civil Liberties Union announces it will defend Allen Ginsberg's book “Howl” against obscenity charges
APR 3, 1957
Samuel Beckett's “Endgame” premieres in London
APR 3, 1958
Fidel Castro's rebels are attacked in Havana
APR 3, 1960
Elvis Presley records “It's Now Or Never,” “Fever,” and “Are You Lonesome Tonight” at RCA studios in Nashville, Tennessee
APR 3, 1969
Vietnam War: U.S. Secretary of Defense Melvin Laird announces that the United States will start a policy of “Vietnamization,” reducing American involvement
APR 3, 1973
The first portable cell phone call is made in New York City
APR 3, 1975
Chess Champion Bobby Fischer is stripped of the world chess title for refusing to defend it
APR 3, 1977
Egyptian President Anwar Sadat's first meeting with U.S. President Jimmy Carter
APR 3,1978
50th Academy Awards: “Annie Hall,” Richard Dreyfuss, & Diane Keaton win
APR 3, 1978
Larry King moves his radio show from Miami to Washington, D.C.
APR 3, 1988
Mario Lemieux wins the NHL scoring title, stopping Gretzky's seven-year streak
APR 3, 1995
Howard Stern gets in trouble for disparaging remarks about Selena
APR 3, 2006
NHL Legend Steve Yzerman scores his final NHL goal (#692) against the Calgary Flames
APR 3, 2007
Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards denies saying he smoked his father's ashes in an interview with NME
APR 3, 2012
U.S. President Barack Obama officially secures the Democratic presidential nomination
APR 3, 2012
Rock for the Rainforest benefit concert held at Carnegie Hall, NYC; performers include: Sting, Elton John, James Taylor, Jennifer Hudson, Rosanne Cash, Vince Gill, Esperanza Spaulding, Bruno Mars, Bryn Terfel, and Bill Clinton
APR 3, 2022
Pakistan plunges into constitutional crisis after Prime Minister Imran Khan dissolves parliament and calls for new elections, avoiding a no-confidence vote
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BIRTHDAYS
APRIL 3
Elsie Fisher, actress (23)
Paris Jackson, daughter of Michael (28)
Rachel Bloom, actress (39)
Amanda Bynes, actress (40)
Leona Lewis, singer (41)
Cobie Smulders, actress (44)
Adam Scott, actor (53)
Jennie Garth, 90210's Kelly (54)
Sebastian Bach, singer (58)
Eddie Murphy, comedian (65)
David Hyde Pierce, Frasier actor (67)
Alec Baldwin, actor (68)
Wayne Newton, singer (84)
Eric Braeden, actor (85)
Jane Goodall, anthropologist (1934-2025)
APRIL 7
Tiki Barber, NFL star (51)
Bill Bellamy, actor (61)
Russell Crowe, actor (62)
Jackie Chan, action star (72)
Janis Ian, singer (75)
John Oates, Hall & Oates rocker (78)
Francis Ford Coppola, director (87)