Mr. Laughs Prep 2/25/2026
Mr. Laughs Prep
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 25, 2026
- FEATURED BIT: "AARPUFC" (Original Bit) (0:50)
49 year old Floyd Mayweather has announced he will step back in the ring in September to fight 47-year old Manny Pacquiao. It was not long ago that the elderly Mike Tyson stepped into the ring, as well. With all of these old fighters getting back to beating the crap out of each other, maybe it's time for new organization of elderly pugilists.
https://tinyurl.com/mr484p5s
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DAILY HOLIDAYS
- Let’s All Eat Right Day
- National Chocolate-Covered Peanuts Day
- National Clam Chowder Day
- Pistol Patent Day
- Quiet Day
- World Spay Day
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ONE-LINERS
== TOP O THE NEWS ==
#
The maker of the blockbuster drugs Wegovy and Ozempic says it will cut U.S. list prices by up to 50% starting Jan. 1, 2027. Well that settles it. My new diet starts in just ten months!
Dropping the price so much is kinda suspect. I wonder what the skinny is.
(https://tinyurl.com/bdh4j9vf)
#
The USS Gerald R. Ford is on a deployment stretched far past six months after multiple extensions ordered by Donald Trump, raising the prospect of a record long tour. Nobody likes being asked to stay late at work. This is a lot worse than that.
Some poor guy is finally going to get home to his wife, and she’s going to say “I thought we could celebrate by going on a cruise!”
(https://tinyurl.com/32bv4upp)
== POLLS, STUDIES, AND SURVEYS ==
#
A growing number of Americans are embracing life as self-described “Chinamaxxers,” reorganizing their routines around Chinese customs after getting hooked on TikTok. Some people are complaining about cultural appropriation, but the folks at the Asian grocery store seem pretty happy.
I THOUGHT Chinese New Year was particularly poppin’ last week.
Chinamaxx sounds like a racist offshoot of TJ Maxx.
(https://tinyurl.com/pumjzmya)
== AROUND THE NATION ==
#
An ICE deportation flight was stuck on a New Hampshire tarmac for more than 12 hours after a powerful Northeast blizzard left the plane unable to reach the terminal. ICE was kicking them out of the country, but then ice was keeping them in. I think that’s irony.
Look on the bright side, they got an extra 12 hours of freedom before they had to go.
(https://tinyurl.com/5bze88uj)
#
“Abolish ICE” won Chicago’s annual snowplow naming contest, with voters using the name to jab at federal immigration agents who were deployed to the city last fall. Second and third place had similar sentiments, but I’m not allowed to say them on air.
(https://tinyurl.com/5n6cmp8y)
== AROUND THE GLOBE ==
#
In parts of the UK, chocolate bars are being placed in anti-theft boxes in stores after a rise in candy thefts for resale. It’s no surprise that those with sticky fingers have a sweet tooth.
The way people are stealing chocolate bars, you would think they had golden tickets inside them.
(https://tinyurl.com/2nrpn4dt)
#
Australian researchers say they’ve identified a key stretch of DNA that helps some bananas resist a devastating fungal disease, a breakthrough that could protect the $140 billion industry. When it comes to bananas, those Australian scientists don’t monkey around.
I know they’ve got seedless watermelons. I wonder if anyone’s working on bananas with no peel?
(https://tinyurl.com/yura77sr)
== SHOW BIZ BUZZ ==
#
Christian Bale confirmed he is starring in Michael Mann’s Heat 2, joining Leonardo DiCaprio in the action-packed sequel, with filming taking place in Chicago. I hope he uses the Batman voice, especially since Pacino kinda already does.
Leo and Bale in the same movie!? The Heat is on baby!
(https://tinyurl.com/yutx8tc4)
== CELEBRITY DRIVEL ==
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Tourette syndrome activist John Davidson sparked controversy at the BAFTA awards after shouting expletives, including the N-word, during the ceremony. I guess he won’t be presenting at the BET awards anytime soon.
You’re kinda rolling the dice by going to an awards show with Tourette’s. Sort of a Russian Tourette’s, if you will.
(https://tinyurl.com/mwke9mjv)
== SPORTS SPURTS ==
#
Rapper and reality star Flavor Flav invited the U.S. women’s hockey team to celebrate their Olympic gold with him after Donald Trump mocked them during a call with the men’s team. Donald Trump has flavor too, though. And it’s extra heavy mayonnaise.
Flavor Flav has done so much for the Olympics, they should give him the rings on a chain to go with his clock.
(https://tinyurl.com/28evf7zc)
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GENIUS AWARDS
AND TODAY’S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO……
St. Louis, MO - A single car parked on St. Louis's Locust Street has collected $8,660 in parking tickets since April, highlighting the city's enforcement breakdown. The vehicle remains unmoved while workers continue issuing daily citations.
City Treasurer Adam Layne revealed 40,000 cars qualify for booting, but the city owns only 30 boots. St. Louis suspended towing in 2018 following FBI investigations into corruption at the tow lot, then extended the pause during the pandemic. Streets Department Chief Sean Hadley said the tow lot holds 1,200 cars but currently stores about 700, contradicting claims it's at capacity.
"It's not a broken system, it's just we don't have the manpower," Hadley stated. An interdepartmental agreement to restart enforcement has sat unsigned for two weeks.
Resident Les Sterman called the situation "bureaucratic paralysis" that undermines public faith in city government.
My car was towed 3x in St. Louis for street cleaning tickets so this feels like justice for my fellow victims.
Free the rest of the cars!!
https://tinyurl.com/4rsackzp
AND THEN THERE’S……
New York City police are investigating after multiple officers were struck in the face with snowballs during a massive snowball fight at Washington Square Park in Manhattan.
The NYPD said uniformed officers were "removed by EMS in stable condition" to a nearby hospital Tuesday, though specific injury details weren't disclosed. No arrests have been made.
Police Commissioner Jessica Tisch called the behavior "disgraceful" and "criminal."
The incident occurred as a winter storm blanketed the Northeast in snow. Political figures quickly denounced the event, but at a news conference, Mayor Zohran Mamdani appeared to downplay the situation, saying "it looks like a snowball fight."
If you give a city a snow day, get out of the way of the snowball fight!
If snowballs are a crime, lock us for life.
https://tinyurl.com/bjnw3rdk
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BENCHMARK GAMES
== STEAKHOUSE OR GAY BAR ==
I’m going to read you the name of a business and I want you to tell me if it’s a
STEAKHOUSE or a GAY BAR.
Buzz-In in Marysville, Washington ….. STEAKHOUSE
The Iguana Grill & Cantina in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware ….. GAY BAR
The Palace in Milford, Delaware ….. STEAKHOUSE
Eagle Houston in Houston, Texas ….. GAY BAR
Dirty Dan Harris’ in Bellingham, Washington ….. STEAKHOUSE
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THOUGHT OF THE DAY
There is an untapped potential for taco trucks to cruise neighborhoods the same way ice cream trucks do while playing mariachi over the speaker.
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ON THIS DAY
FEB 25, 1793
The first U.S. cabinet meeting, held at George Washington's home
FEB 25, 1804
Thomas Jefferson is nominated for U.S. President at the Democratic-Republican caucus
FEB 25, 1830
Victor Hugo's “Hernani” premieres in Paris
FEB 25, 1836
Samuel Colt patents the first multi-shot revolving-cylinder revolver, enabling the firearm to be fired multiple times without reloading
FEB 25, 1855
Bowery Boys gang leader William Poole, known as “Bill the Butcher,” is shot in the back by gang of archrival John Morrissey in New York (dies on March 8th)
FEB 25, 1862
Congress forms the U.S. Bureau of Engraving and Printing to print newly issued U.S. paper currency, the United States Notes
FEB 25, 1862
First Legal Tender Act of 1862 is passed by the U.S. Congress, authorizing the United States Note (greenback) into circulation, the first fiat paper money that was legal tender in America
FEB 25, 1870
Hiram R. Revels is sworn in as the first African American member of Congress (Sen-R-MS)
FEB 25, 1901
The U.S. Steel Corporation is organized under J. P. Morgan, Sr.
FEB 25, 1907
George Bernard Shaw's “Philanderer” premieres in London
FEB 25, 1926
Francisco Franco becomes Spain's youngest general at 33-years-old
FEB 25, 1932
Austrian immigrant Adolf Hitler gets German citizenship
FEB 25, 1950
“Your Show of Shows” with Sid Caesar & Imogene Coca premieres on NBC; Writers include Mel Brooks, Neil Simon, & Woody Allen
FEB 25, 1956
Nikita Khrushchev denounces Joseph Stalin at the 20th Congress of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union
FEB 25, 1957
Buddy Holly & Crickets record “That'll Be the Day”
FEB 25, 1962
Robert F. Kennedy visits The Netherlands
FEB 25, 1962
Wilt Chamberlain of the NBA’s Philadelphia Warriors scores 67 points vs. the New York Knicks for the second year in a row
FEB 25, 1964
Muhammad Ali [Cassius Clay] TKOs Sonny Liston in seven rounds for his first world heavyweight championship title
FEB 25, 1972
Paul McCartney releases “Give Ireland back to the Irish” single
FEB 25, 1986
Corazon Aquino becomes President of the Philippines, Marcos flees the country
FEB 25, 1988
Bruce Springsteen's "Tunnel of Love" Tour begins in Worcester, Massachusetts
FEB 25, 1989
Mike Tyson TKOs Frank Bruno in five rounds for the heavyweight boxing title
FEB 25, 1991
Bruce McNall, Wayne Gretzky, & John Candy buy the CFL's Toronto Argonauts
FEB 25, 1992
Muddy Waters wins the Lifetime Achievement Award at the 34th Annual Grammy Awards
FEB 25, 2013
Cuban President Raúl Castro announces he will not seek another term in 2018
FEB 25, 2016
Seth Rogen and Lauren Miller are honored by unite4:humanity for their work promoting awareness of and fundraising for Alzheimer's research
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BIRTHDAYS
FEBRUARY 25
Jameela Jamil, actress (40)
Shawna Thompson, Thompson Square singer (48)
Rashida Jones, actress (50)
Chelsea Handler, talk show hostess (51)
Sean Astin, Lord of the Rings actor (55)
Tea Leoni, actress (60)
Carrot Top, comedian (61)
Ric Flair, WWE wrestler (77)
Sally Jessy Raphael, talk show host (91)
George Harrison, musician (1943 - 2001)
FEBRUARY 26
Teresa Palmer, actress (40)
Nate Ruess, singer (44)
Corinne Bailey Rae, singer (47)
Erykah Badu, singer (55)
Michael Bolton, singer (73)
Johnny Cash, musician (1932-2003)